How to Get Started

Good Afternoon Gang, 

I'm taking a second to bring up the hard stuff.  Because after school lets out, there's a very exciting season.  A season of fun, travel, excitement of not having to go to work.  

Then there seems to be a season of goal setting.  Of "I'm going to do these 3 projects while also Marie Kondoing my house, while also getting into perfect physical condition, and lastly being the perfect parent/friend/everything."  Everyone on Insta seems to be hitting these goals.  So why does it seem like it's impossible to decide what to do next?  And why does the idea of starting these goals seem so much more enticing than actually doing the entry level tasks - Picking a closet to start with, reading Marie Kondo's book (which is FABULOUS by the way), running that first mile, texting your friend about the best time to get coffee. 

I can tell you as a behavior analyst, when I want someone to INITIATE a task I follow certain rules.  To simply get started, that is the time in the intervention when I provide the MOST support.  I don't start a new behavior plan, see if the person can do it or if they struggle, then provide support if they need it - because I know that doesn't work.  I know that method allows an opportunity for failure.   Instead, when a new goal is put in place, and the person is trying something new, I give HUGE amounts of support so that success is going to happen.  There is no chance for error.  Then I fade my support until the person no longer needs it.  You probably do the same thing if you are an educator or a leader. 

So why is it that when we set goals for ourselves, we provide no support up front?  We set big audacious goals (nothing wrong with that!) and we expect complete new behavior change without providing ourselves support. 

I've met a ton of new Crossfitters over the years who say, "I'll get myself weightlifting shoes when I'm good enough at weightlifting.  For now I'll lift in running shoes."  But would you EVER tell your child that they can earn cleats when they're good enough at baseball?  Or do you send them with all the gear they need day 1? 

Here's how to get started on a goal.  Write your goal out.  Then write in an ideal world what you would need to get started on that goal.  Not finish it - finishing isn't our goal yet.  Our goal is to get started.  Do you need new running shoes?  Do you need child care?  Do you need someone to take something off your plate so that you have the availability to give it a shot?  Do you need a program or book?  Have you followed positive role models who give content for free on social media on the topic you've chose to pursue?  Are there webinars online you can purchase in that area? 

Here's some news, I don't just teach people how to change student behavior online and in workshops.  I'm not just a teacher, I'm a learner.  I bought a webinar pack on confidence because bravery is one of my goals in 2019, and I consumed that information as a learner.  I didn't have to earn that webinar purchase for myself through meeting some other goal, I bought it to get started.  I'm a better me because I didn't wait to get it.  I downloaded guided running and printed a 15k training package, because while I've always been great at weightlifting, I suck at running and want to learn how.  Just last week I ran the furthest I've ever run, and that only happens when you're brave enough to get started. 

Be brave enough to start.  Be brave enough to invest in your goal.  Create some space in your life to do the thing you want to do.  Give yourself the same grace you give your students when they are just getting started. 

So what is step one?  Step one is making time for your goal every day.  Can you commit to learning about your new goal?  You can if you have time.  Research books in that area, purchase what you need to learn about it, buy equipment you may need, block off time in your planner each day so you don't forget.  Support yourself in the act of GETTING STARTED.  Then take accountability for each little win.  Write them down.  Check them off.  Realize that every little thing you do is moving a grain of sand and one day that sand will pile up to be a mountain.  Your big end goal will be here before you know it.  And then you'll realize the big end goal didn't matter, the process of getting to it has actually created a whole new person.  And THAT is what really matters.